This is a side of humanity (and of predominantly first-world countries) that really grinds my gears. It is a phenomenon as old as time, making up slang words. Words that throughout the ages everyone who has been born in or has tried to climb the ladder to join high society have been taught to avoid. Anyone within the folds of the elite or the royal are never to use them, for that would make them sound “common” or a part of the aristocracy.
Now you can’t shake a stick without knocking over five losers who are desperate for their fifteen-second hashtag of fame trying to make up the next “fetch”. The older I get, the more crotchety I am towards the those youth who won’t stay off my damn lawn and whine when I tell them “I KEEP IT NOW!” every time one of their toys or what-have-you’s lands on the front of my property or the roof of my house.
Actually, I don’t have to worry about yelling at kids playing in the street in front of my lawn because they are all either riding bikes or on their smart phone as they’re walking. Wow. That’s depressing.
For the sake of brevity what I am saying is this: I am officially too old to care about using your buzzwords, dagnabbit. You have no idea how annoyed I get when I catch myself saying “like” too much. The people in my real life thinks it’s funny when I get that annoyed at it, but for me as writer it is torture. It’s like a bad pop song that gets stuck in your head for months.
I’ll stay on top of them for the sake of my daughter and nephew, but you can’t make me use them. I might pepper them into future fiction I write, but they will not be a part of my conversation. As a writer, my vocabulary cannot be focused solely on slang or Ebonics. It would completely stunt my growth as a writer. I would stunt anyone’s growth as a writer, honestly.