It’s Like a Car Crash I Can’t Stop Watching.

I watch Gone Girl, I listen to the audio book, and a part of me finds comfort in it. It sounds insane, and I don’t blame you for thinking it is.

As a survivor of domestic violence, that part of me that is scarred and will always be scarred, takes pleasure in it.

Not that I would do anything like Amy Dunne did, of course. I may have a sadistic streak, but I’m not psychotic.

It’s the torture that I crave when watch Ben Affleck, it’s the torture I listen to from Nick’s part of the audio book.

I know this has been said from a lot of women about this book, this movie: the girl got her revenge, she got away with it, the villain was a girl and she got away with it. As a survivor it is fucking delicious.

Amy was a villain, but I think I could give her a run for her money. There were times when I felt inspired by the Saw movies when it came to my ex. I could make Amy look like Sally Field. When Midsommar, the ultimate break-up movie, was a fucking walk in the park compared to my day dreams.

Gone Girl

The pressure of Amazing Amy always being one step ahead of regular Amy’s life combined with the devastation of regular Amy always trying so hard to be the woman and the wife she thought her husband wanted her to be (the cool girl) only to have her heartbroken after five years as a reward made her snap.  The tinder was there.  Past relationships proved that about Amy.  The tinder was there but her decisions caused her husband to evolve into the matchbook, something Amy did not see coming.  What she wanted all along was the matchbook.  His match scratched Amy in just the right place, and she fell in love with him.  She went up in flames.  Her sexy smokey voice emits a purr where there was once a low growl. It was a low growl before him.  She was a damsel in distress drowning in the boredom of the one percent, waiting for a knight such as him to orbit, as the kids these days say.  She wanted a knight that would help make her Amazing Amy too. It would have been lovely if it were that simple, that poetic.  It sounds good on paper, doesn’t it?

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